Conversations with Father (about men & dating)
Me: I just watched a show about how successful (i.e. college educated) black women not getting married.
Him: Why is that a show? What's the problem? A black woman is better off by herself than with a black man that will bring her down. There's no point in getting married unless it's about mutual love and respect.
Me: Well a lot of the black men on the show said that the reason black women are single is because they expect too much.
Him: Psh. Black women do not expect too much! What is a black woman supposed to do? She is educated. She has her life in order. And she is supposed to get with any old man because he didn't get his life together but still feels he is entitled to any woman he wants?
Me: Well they said that you have to look at a man's potential.
Him: That's what they want you to think so that you don't require anything in actuality from them. You look at who a man is. Not who he says he will be.
Me: The show also talked about why a lot of men cheat. They said it's because women were not keeping them happy or not sexually doing what they want.
Him: That's ridiculous. There's no reason for anybody to cheat. If a man is grounded then he will love his partner enough not to cheat.
Me: They also said that you need to make a man feel like a man.
Him: If I am a man then why would I need a woman to make me feel like a man?
Me: I don't know.
Him: A real man does not need a woman to make him feel like a man. He is a man, isn't he? Men who say that have an inferiority complex.
Me: Well they were saying that they need to feel like they wear the pants in the relationship.
Him: Look. A man does not feel threatened by anyone unless he does not have his own life together. And in that case he will be threatened whether a woman lays down and lets him walk all over him or if she makes more money or anything else.